The Neatness of Newly Clipped Nails

I'm thinking of the sea..
a nice beautiful beach..
the sound of the waves lapping on the beach....
calming....
the sound of the wind whistling through the coconut trees....
seeming to say "whee, see me run wild and free"........
my feet,
sinking into the luscious sand...
and the waves washing it away at the same time...
hiding and disguising my very existence....

i step into the water...
oh, does it seem to invite me to indulge further to discover the secrets it hides..
but i could not...
fearing my resistance slipping away with every step i take into the deep unknown..
reluctantly, i step away from its seduction..
i channel myself to look at the otherside of the line..
the one filled with people
who outwardly seem to be filled to the brim with happiness...
surrounding themselves with other happy people..
seeming to live with all the joy in the world
and to conquer all sorrow with LOVE

i want to be a part of that
yet whenever i try
it seems like such a distant world from me
its as though I'm looking through the looking glass
it as though i cant belong

but i will struggle on if i must
for being here is beauty itself
cherishing all that had been given to me...
being grateful and not hurting people who had sacrificed for me..

for being here is not just for our own cause..
this is not a hotel for u to decide
when to come and when to leave
it is not an obligation...
to be fulfilled..
it is a gift.

even when it seems as though life is fooling u..
even if u feel misunderstood..
even if u feel there is no more reason to go on..

look around u...
and think...
the only reason u are capable of feeling this way is not because u r obliged to feel this way
its because u r capable enough
to be given the choice to feel so..

now take a deep breathe...
a really deep breathe...
so deep that the smell of salt is all that fill your senses..
close your eyes...
take in the sound of the wind talking to u..
feel the grain of the sand...
feel all the emotions raging within u,
bottled up inside..
and let it all out..
and when u are ready,
just let the waves take it all away from u..
leaving u clean and afresh,
ready to take on whatever is hurled your way..
walking at the borderline
but never slipping into the dark

and walk away a new man.