Now

It's a weird thing, looking and thinking of your past. Because knowing what happened between that time and now makes all the difference.

I spent 1 year regressing about a friendship that turned sour/ gone wrong. (til now, I'm still not sure.) I wonder what was it I did or even what was it that I didnt do that caused this to happen.

Finally, after putting in some courage and effort, I met up with said friends and found out that they were not who I thought they were. Because I lost the friendship, i put them up on a pedestal to somewhere so high up, I bullied myself into thinking that I can never be on the same level as them.

Now, being able to look detachedly at them, I know, it is true, I can never be on the same level as them. I lost that friendship because it is not a friendship I would want to maintain. I just didnt realise it then.