This morning, my mother asked me what I wanted for breakfast. And after 2weeks of eating heaty things like ginger and wine, I opted for roti telur. Instead she said it was unhealthy and not a suitable diet for me, yet.
I still remember a time when roti telur was considered a luxury. It was many years ago but I remember it as if it is happening right before my eyes. I was about 7years old and at my babysitter’s sister’s house. She was also babysitting for another mother. I remember hearing her say that Charlie, the child she babysits, loves eating roti telur and has to have 2 of it every time. My eyes rounded in awe then squinted with jealousy. U see, at that time, those cute 8 shaped fake Smarties was a rare sighting and Chipsmore was basically unheard of. It was just how I grew up.
Ah, old times are so comforting. We think back and wondered how we lived that life and grew up unscathed and unperturbed by the things that other children tease us of never having. I guess I have to thank my parents for it. They kept me and my sister thoroughly grounded but still never squashed our dreams. Now, I’ve transitioned to a mother of a beautiful newborn baby girl and a wife to a wonderful husband. Now, I think about making more money, when I need to feed my baby and how is my husband doing. I wondered how my parents did it, how people just suddenly became mothers and fathers.
So much has changed, yet u wonder how so many things can still remain the same. I am 20 this year. I got married on the 2nd of October 2011 and gave birth to my baby on the 6th of December 2011. Being a wife is not easy, but being a mother is worse. I find I’m constantly confused, worried and angry by my baby’s cries and at the end of the day, I get disappointed with the way I handled her. Yet visiting friends are still who they are, having the same issue they have been battling and squabbling about the same people in classes. I often wondered how can I have changed so much and they still remained the same. So much has changed from the time when roti telur was a luxury.
Last month, I went back to visit my babysitter, it was so strange to see the same things I’ve seen growing up from this view now. Everything that was so familiar now looked so different from how I remembered it. This feeling im having? This feeling im trying to describe with this passage? I guess it just about the changes I’ve been feeling.
